Sunday, July 25, 2010

Snooki, Sookie, and shoulder pads. Where did we go wrong?

Sometimes I feel like those crafty people in Hollywood allow shows and movies to happen not because the premises therein are captivating or clever, but because they know that they will serve in their entirety to be made fun of by the very masses for which they were created. At the risk of offending the vast majority of females with whom I associate, here are a couple examples which I feel solidly fit the description: Jersey Shore and True Blood.

Having never seen Jersey Shore, only a clip of "Chelsea Lately" where the three more popular "characters" appear, I can only gather that the United States of America (with the exception of a minority up in arms about the show because they are in "the know") will agree with me when I note this show as a gleaming beacon of "guido" mockery.

I should only have to state the premise of True Blood in plain English to make my point about its sheer farcicality, but I will elaborate.
Basically, a bunch of vampires and other already-thought-of creatures run around in a fictional Louisiana town and hang out with non-vampire-but-telepath Sookie flirts with Bill The Vampire.
Uh. Shall I go on? Oh ok, since I promised. According to wikipedia, the story is an allegory for LGBT rights. The vampires "come out of the coffin" and allege that "God hates fangs".
Personally, I was willing to accept Twilight and the rest of Stephenie Meyer's brainchildren as this generation's Harry Potter. But as the vampire trend slowly grew until it reached a tipping point, I have to admit, all the lore began to grate on my last nerve. And it's just a hop, skip, and a jump from first nerve to last. Not many stops in between.

I feel like fictitious creature fads go in and out like fashion. Like, high-waisted skirts were "in" during the 80s, much like vampires were in the early 90s with "Interview With A Vampire". But sometimes fads are just big mistakes. Like shoulder pads.

It's time for someone to come up with a new fictitious creature or superhero. Like "Schruteman". He could go around righting wrongs and feeding beets to everyone. Although, even that is just a variation of a preexisting character. Maybe we're just doomed to be exposed to more reality when we come home from a long, hard day of reality and watch Snooki in all her orange glory and hair bump talk about God-knows-what on the beautiful shores of New Jersey. Or, if we get bored with that, there's always the gripping and oh-so-original blossoming romance between Sookie and Bill The Vampire.

Tell you what though, I never get tired of hearing his wise vampire warning of "Sookie, no".


  1. I don't watch a lot of TV, and I'm not interested in reality shows or vampire shows, ... or vampires in general. But, I should mention that Dwight Schrute already is a superhero. He, at least, has more strength than most men. To quote him: "When my mother was pregnant with me they did an ultrasound and found she was having twins, when they did another ultrasound a few weeks later they discovered that I had absorbed the other fetus. Do I regret this... no. I believe his tissue has made me stronger, I now have the strength of a grown man AND a baby."